


Joyeux Noel

by JjdoggieS



Series: All Is Calm, All Is Bright [10]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: (it is merely a fact), (that doesn't really have to do with the fic), Board Games, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Cuddling & Snuggling, Cute, F/M, Ficmas, Ficmas 2020, Fluff, Harcest Ficmas, Harcest Ficmas 2020, Number Five | The Boy is a SIMP, Snow, Snowed In, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, i am very tired lol, i'm so sorry if these start making no sense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-10
Updated: 2020-12-10
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:55:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27988821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JjdoggieS/pseuds/JjdoggieS
Summary: When Five and Vanya had decided to take a holiday in a little cottage, somewhere a bit deep in the Poconos Mountains, neither had expected the massive amount of snowfall their first night. Or that they'd be snowed in for their week long holiday. Luckily, there are plenty of things for them to do, even if they're stuck indoors.
Relationships: Number Five | The Boy/Vanya Hargreeves
Series: All Is Calm, All Is Bright [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2034832
Comments: 5
Kudos: 30
Collections: Harcest Ficmas 2020





	Joyeux Noel

**Author's Note:**

  * For [263Adder](https://archiveofourown.org/users/263Adder/gifts).



It wasn't hard to guess that, even living in such a big house, that living with your six siblings, robot mother, and chimpanzee butler would get on anyone’s nerves after any amount of extended time. Most of them had been hesitant to leave the Academy again for long periods of time after finally returning to their proper timeline. After returning, Five disappeared for a second for them, another week for him, and returned back to 2019, for a fourth time, with a living, adult, Umbrella Academy Ben appearing in the house soon after.

And as much as Five loved his family, sometimes the fuckers got on his nerves. Thankfully, before Five bit someone’s head off or fucked up any more familial dynamics by saying something he didn’t mean, Vanya suggested that they, just the two of them, took a little holiday. Away from the family. Five eagerly agreed, and within a week of Vanya’s suggestion, the two of them were driving to some mountain range neither of them had heard before, The Poconos Mountains, out in northern Pennsylvania. Far enough away from the Academy but not too far that by the chance that something  _ did _ happen, they could easily get back with short notice.

Five, of course, had decided he would drive through the snowy, icy mountain roads, mainly because he had more experience driving through treacherous conditions than Vanya did, but also because it gave him a way to, in case anything happened on their drive, try and keep Vanya safe. If needed, Five knew he could jump them both out of the car, but his jumps with other people, while in a moving vehicle, under stressful situations, hadn’t been tested out too much yet, and would rather save it as a last resort.

Fortunately, nothing happened on their drive, there  _ was  _ a little scare of sliding in some ice for a brief second, but beyond that, nothing. Good. Five did, however, relish in the gasp that Vanya had at the sight of the little cottage they’d be staying in for the next two weeks. It was definitely more on the cuter side of the cottages he’d looked at when booking it, but the extra privacy and security it offered compared to others within the mountain range definitely helped Five pick  _ this _ one over another. While Five wished he’d be able to watch Vanya’s initial reactions to the cottage, since he hadn’t shown her any pictures when he’d been planning this per her suggestion, but he  _ knew _ it was better to focus on driving and parking their car on the icy, snow covered dirt driveway.

Once the car was completely stopped, and Five turned off the engine he jumped from his seat to Vanya’s door, pulling it open for her with a smirk. After being sure that Vanya wasn’t going to slip on the ice once he moved, Five jumped to the trunk if the car, pulling it open and grabbing their bags (one each) and moving back to being next to Vanya, walking with her up to their cottage for the next few days.

They, mostly Vanya, spent an hour looking around exploring the cottage and some of the wooded area around it. While Vanya was exploring parts of the second floor, it was a surprisingly big cottage, Five had checked some of the forecasts for the next week, seeing that there was an estimated 7 inches of snow in the next few days. The creaking of wood as Vanya descending the staircase prompted Five to drop the newspaper he’d been reading onto the kitchen table and jump to being near the bottom of the stairs just as Vanya reached the bottom.

“So, what do you think?” Five asked her, although fairly sure she’d like the space. He had, after all, picked one based on her style as best he could.

“I love it.” Vanya answered him nearly immediately, giving him an unintentional boost to his ever-growing ego, before asking him, “So, what plans does  _ The _ Five Hargreeves have in store for us this week?”

Five listed off the various activities (which he will  _ not _ be listing here) that he remembered the lodging site he’d booked the cottage through listed as couples activities and activities ‘for the family’, feeling the smirk spread onto his face at her titling of him, more so as he watched her playfully smile back at him, watching his lips as he talked. The last thing he’d added to his relisting of activities for them to do was, “And we should probably go to a grocery store before it gets dark, there’s a bit of snowfall expected over the next few days.”

“And what do you think is going to happen?” Vanya asked, “Are we going to get snowed in or something?”

“No, no, no.” Five replied with a laugh, “Nothing like that. It’s just that, I’d rather deal with that  _ now _ , rather than wait until we’re in the middle of  _ something else _ and there’s enough snowfall and then we’re stuck up here with nothing.”

They both knew that was a flimsy excuse at best, since Five could easily either spatial jump into the nearby town and get whatever supplies they would need, or could spatial jump  _ both _ of them somewhere nearby if they were  _ truly _ stuck and snowed in. But nevertheless, Vanya nodded in understanding, and they set back off towards their car. Five made sure that the heat in the house was on and that their refrigerator was turned on so it would be cool by the time they returned.

Five drove, again, and as he did, Vanya made their week long grocery list in the passenger seat, ensuring they had meals to make with and without power, just in case such a thing did happen. A near 35 minute drive through windy, snowy roads later, and Five was pulling into the parking lot of a little grocery store called Mama Quinn and Papa Ivan’s. 

Now, typically when Five would go to the grocery store with any of his siblings, and on occasion with Mom, he would split their weekly list in half and enjoy the half hour to an hour of peace and alone time (at least from any of his siblings). But, since he was with Vanya,  _ and _ they were meant to be on a holiday together, they spent a little over an hour going up and down every single aisle, gradually marking off everything from Vanya’s little list and then some additional things that simply caught their eyes as they perused. (The elderly couple that owned the store earned some brownie points with Five for thinking he and Vanya were married and  _ not _ siblings because of their shared last name.)

Another thirty minute drive back to their little cottage, and another fifteen minutes of putting away their bundle of groceries for the week later, Five was carefully starting the fire in their fireplace while Vanya shuffled through the small selection of Christmas movies that the owners had left. As the fire crackled to life, it was already getting dark and barely past 6 o’clock, Five could see what he suspected to be little snowflakes beginning to fall from the sky, covering the patches of grass that had begun peaking through some of the previously melted snow.

While Vanya was a far better cook than Five was, since he didn’t care about taste as much as the nutritional value something could provide him with, he’d still chosen to make dinner for the two of them, his specialty of peanut butter and marshmallow sandwiches as Vanya mixed some hot chocolate (with mini marshmallows) for her and used some single cup coffee maker the cottage had for some black coffee for him. Once their dinners and drinks were ready, rather than eating at the kitchen table, Five and Vanya settled onto the couch in the living room once Vanya had put whichever movie she’d decided on into the VHS player.

Five wasn’t surprised at all when it was Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer that Vanya had picked, especially since Vanya had cited it as one of her favorite movies  _ and _ that it had been one of the few movies they were allowed to watch while under the thumb of Reginald. He was, however, pleasantly surprised (not really surprised, but he appreciated it regardless) when Vanya cuddled into his side as they half-heartedly watched the movie and Vanya (whether she realized it or not) rubbed rhythmic circles into the top of his hand.

At first, it had been something Vanya would do when she was stressed or overly anxious about trying (and for a little while at first, failing) to control her seemingly, and nearly uncontrollably, limitless powers, but over time (and the years) as she gained more and more control over her powers through many, many, many secret training sessions, it instead became something she did when they were alone. And he imagined it was something along the lines of self-reassurance that she wasn’t alone and that he hadn’t left her behind.

Roughly an hour later, the VHS player pushed the completely played tape out, followed by Five using the remote for the VHS player (which he hadn’t known existed but, evidently they were a thing) and rewound the tape without having to get up from the couch, but more importantly, without having to wake up Vanya, who’d fallen asleep at some point in the last fifteen minutes of the movie. Trusting the VHS player to do its job, Five carefully slipped out from under Vanya, only to immediately, and carefully, pick Vanya up and spatial jumped upstairs into the sole bedroom of the house, carefully tucking Vanya into the bed before jumping back downstairs to clean up a little and put out the fire.

As he picked up their emptied mugs and slightly dirtied plates, sticking them in the sink after a quick rinse, Five noticed that there was already more than the projected seven inches of snow outside, but wasn’t concerned about the excess amount of snowfall. It’s not like he could control the weather anyway. Just as he finished folding up the blanket that Vanya had been using and watching the fire slowly die out, the VHS player finished rewinding the tape and was about to start playing it again. Instead, Five pushed the eject button on the VHS player and slid the cover back over the tape, and filed it away with the rest of the VHS tape collection.

Once he was satisfied with his quick, and quiet, clean up job, flipped off most of the lights, and the fire had been properly smothered, Five walked up the stairs (it's not like he jumped everywhere, just most places) and slid into the other side of the bed from Vanya. As he did, Vanya moved closer to him and took a light hold of his hands, even in her sleep. When he’d fallen asleep, he’d expected the snowfall to stop at some point in the night.

That had not been the case.

Rather when he’d been awoken by Vanya, in a mix of excitement and freight, was murmuring to herself about how much snow there was outside as she stood right next to the window. Five groggily walked over to where Vanya was standing, and looked out the window only to be nearly blinded by the sunlight being reflected off the white mass of snow covering everything in sight. The snow had reached just short of reaching about halfway up their car’s doors (which was nearly a foot and a half).

“I didn’t think it would snow that much overnight.” Vanya said, looking between Five and the freshly, fallen snow, which was  _ still _ falling from the sky despite the sun being out, “I thought that there was only a few inches predicted, not over a foot?”

Five shrugged, not quite sure what had caused so much snowfall, but said regardless, “That’s what the meteorologist said, but the weather people are  _ hardly _ ever right anyway.”

Vanya turned her complete attention away from the bright, whiteness outside and over to him, asking, “Got any plans for us to do indoors?” He, cheekily, was about to reply with- “And not that!” Vanya quickly added, seemingly knowing what he was about to suggest, “At least, not yet anyway.”

With  _ that _ being out of the question, at least for now, Five instead suggested, “We could build a fort?”

“Build a fort?” Vanya repeated, getting a nod from Five, “Like, a blanket fort?” yet another nod. And Five was honestly worried, for the briefest of seconds, that Vanya would think that that idea was dumb. But instead, she cheered, like an adorable child, “Yay!” before practically running out of the room and down the stairs from what Five could hear.

Rather than chancing spatial jumping downstairs and either running right into Vanya, or worse jumping into Vanya (Five didn’t even know  _ how _ he would even  _ attempt  _ fixing something like that), he again walked down the stairs and found Vanya collecting every blanket and pillow she could find and adding them to her growing pile in the middle of the living room. “Vanya, dearest,” Five called, “what are you doing?”

“Gathering supplies.” Vanya answered, only pausing in her movement for a second, “You know, for our fort.”

Oh, okay then. “How about,” Five started, taking a hold of one of Vanya’s wrists, “we have breakfast first, get ready for the day, and  _ then _ we can build the best blanket fort we possibly can?”

“Promise?” Vanya asked, giving him  _ the look _ that nearly always had him doing whatever it was that she wanted him to do.

“Promise.” Five answered, relinquishing his hold on Vanya’s wrist, continuing, “What are you thinking for breakfast? I’m thinking oatmeal.” He was joking of course, and Vanya’s offended gasp made him  _ nearly _ burst out laughing.

Vanya then realized, telling him, “We didn’t even get oatmeal at the store Five! And what’s next? Eating raw eggs like Diego? Or some keto paleo whole30 breakfast smoothie like Allison?” Rather than give Vanya a verbal answer, Five walked into their kitchen, Vanya following shortly after him, as Five pulled eggs, bread, bacon, marshmallow fluff, some butter, and salt and pepper out of their pantry and fridge. While he did Vanya pulled out two pans, two plates, two forks, a knife, two mugs and mini covered cups that had coffee grounds in them, and two spatulas, as well as turning on two of the stovetop’s spots on and plugging in the toaster.

Unlike with dinner the night before, Vanya had decided to cook eggs and bacon for her and Five while he stuck two slices of bread into the toaster and started brewing Vanya’s cup of coffee, which was some ‘light roast’ holiday blend, with his ‘dark roast’ set aside once her’s was done. Working in tandem allowed for them to get their scrambled eggs, bacon, toast with marshmallow fluff (which did  _ not _ even compare to peanut butter and marshmallow sandwiches), and mugs of coffee were ready in less than five minutes.

Whilst they ate, their breakfast conversation was predominantly focused on the massive, and still growing, amount of snow outside, as well as the various activities that they could do while remaining indoors (especially considering how neither of them were exactly wanting to go back home to their siblings  _ quite _ yet), Five couldn’t help but notice that the snowfall seemed to slow a bit when Vanya was looking or talking about it and would pick up again when she wasn’t. But surely that was just a coincidence. 

As he’d promised Vanya, once they’d finished their breakfast and cleaned up their dirtied dishes, Five and Vanya turned the living room into a giant blanket fort, reaching from the back of the couch and up to the television cabinet, as well as stretching to the edges of the rather larger rug on the living room floor. Vanya flipped through the television’s cable channels until she found one that was having a Christmas movie marathon from December 1st through December 25th, she left the television on that channel was Five dug around in some of the cabinets of the television cabinet, and with great luck finding a few board games.

Five pulled out the ones with names he’d recognized, which were The Game of Life, Monopoly, Trouble, Scrabble, Candy Land, Sorry, Clue, and a deck of Uno cards. They would be quite occupied for at least the day, if not the rest of the week. Vanya had quickly decided upon playing Candy Land first, as apparently, she’d played it a few times with Ben and Klaus before after one of them had gotten it as a gift from one of their fans before Reginald found her playing with it and threw it out. Like the asshole he was.

There wasn’t a day that Five wasn’t thrilled with the fact that Reginald was buried six feet deep for good. Once and for all.

If it wasn’t for the clear amusement on Vanya’s face and in her voice as they played Candy Land, Five would’ve been a bit annoyed with the very childish names of characters like King Kandy, Queen Frostine, Mr. Mint, and the Duke of Swirl (Five wasn’t even going to  _ touch _ on Gramma Nutt, although he imagined the kick Klaus got out of the name). Vanya was easily beating him in Candy Land, but it wasn’t like Candy Land needed any skill it was just luck. And Vanya was just  _ very _ lucky today, and had reached the Candy Castle while he was still all the way back at the Lollipop Woods.

Vanya had decided that they needed to keep score of who won each game, proudly adding a tally mark under her name while the space below Five’s remained blank. For now.

They’d decided  _ before _ playing Candy Land that whoever ‘lost’ the previous game would pick the next one they played. And since Five had been the one to lose at Candy Land, he picked Trouble as their next game, thinking he’d be at least closer to winning.

He was not. Apparently rolling a 6 on a six-sided die was harder than he’d expected.

Another tally mark joined Vanya’s previous one. And he picked The Game of Life as their next game. At least when they played The Game of Life it was much between Five and Vanya, coming down to their life tiles to determine Vanya as the winner, again, rather than their collected money throughout the game. His white car with his fake wife and son was mocked by Vanya’s blue car with her fake husband, two daughters, and two sons.

Vanya’s three tallies annoyed Five far more than winning (or in Five’s case, losing) at a stupid board game should have. Five picked to play Scrabble after lunch, since it was already shortly before noon. Where had the time gone?

Five heated up some chicken noodle soup on the stove while Vanya chopped up some additional carrots and celery to add to the premade, canned soup they’d gotten from the grocery store the day before. Vanya made herself some more hot chocolate for lunch while Five made himself  _ another _ cup of his dark roast coffee.

While they ate their lunch, Vanya was not as subtly as she may have thought she was being as she bragged about her several wins over Five, he noticed that the snowfall had stopped for a while. Stopping just short of the bottoms of the windows, nearly two and a half feet of snow had fallen in less than a day. Odd.

Once finished with lunch, as well as the clean up afterward and storing of leftover soup, rather than launching into playing Scrabble as they’d initially planned, Vanya suggested that they ‘take a break’ from playing through any more of their board games. She’d claimed it was because they only had so many and needed to stretch them out over the next week, but Five had a feeling it was because she could sense his  _ nonexistent  _ frustration from losing repeatedly.

For the rest of the afternoon, they cycled through various channels on the television, watching horrible reality shows, kiddy Christmas specials, some  _ interesting _ cooking shows, and a weird documentary about some Australian animal neither of them had heard of before, and would likely never hear about again. By the time that it started to get dark outside, again, Vanya and Five started cooking some pasta they’d gotten while at the store.

After they’d eaten, cleaned up, and stored whatever had been leftover, Five picked a movie from the VHS collection, Jaws of all things, evidently a bit annoyed with the excessive amount of Christmas specials and movies Vanya had been playing. While Five was picking through the VHS tapes, Vanya made some hot chocolate with a spoonful for their marshmallow fluff for both of them.

Five and Vanya quickly settled into an easy routine for the next five days of their stay in the cottage, each morning one of them would make breakfast, then they would spend the majority of their mornings playing through their various board games, and then around noon whoever hadn’t made breakfast that morning would make lunch, and for the rest of the afternoon they’d either watch some television show, would find a book somewhere and read, or would make up stories about the random things or odd dents and scrapes they’d find around the cottage, as it got dark outside they’d work together making dinner before making two mugs of hot chocolate and picking a random movie from the VHS tape collection, and finally heading off to bed, then repeating it all again the next day.

The snow had mounted to its peak about midday on the fourth day of their holiday, reaching a near six of snow, and since then had gradually melted to the originally forecasted seven inches of watery snowy slush as they were packing up their car again on their last day. While Five made sure their car was ready to go, Vanya did a final sweep through the cottage, making sure they had everything and had adequately cleaned up after themselves before they left.

Once both Five and Vanya got into their car, both the house and car thoroughly checked for the sum of their belongings, but before they pulled away from the cottage, Vanya said, “I need to tell you something.”

“What is it?” Five asked.

“Um, well,” Vanya started, sounding oddly guilty, “you know how there was like  _ a lot _ of snow?”

Five, a bit skeptical and having a feeling as to what she was going to say, told her, “Yes, I do. What about it?”

Vanya looked at him, guilt heavily set in her eyes as she admitted to “Well, I may or may not have caused it.”

While he would’ve been annoyed if it had been  _ anyone else _ that caused him to remain indoors for nearly six whole, consecutive days, but since it was Vanya, he’d just asked, “And why would you do that?”

“Because,” Vanya huffed, acting a bit like a child that had gotten in trouble, “I just like snow, and once I started it, it was just a little hard to stop. But I figured it out!”

“Yes, you did.” Five replied with a laugh, grabbing one of Vanya’s hands and pressing a kiss to the back of it before adding, “But we will be talking about this once we get home.” followed by pulling out of the cottage’s driveway and set off on their near nine hour drive back.

**Author's Note:**

> Update survey if you're interested -> https://forms.gle/kj4UBqMeUThavmnx6


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